The Beauty That Comes From Pain

Updated: Apr 13

My trip to Minneapolis after George's death showed me love through the wreckage.

Posted June 19, 2020

I was having a rough time trying to figure out what my next blog was going to be about. I naturally wanted to jump into activism mode but subconsciously I was reminded that Grounded Truth needs to be a safe space for everyone. I definitely did not want to turn a blindside to our “now reality” while remembering re-traumatizing does exist. I was speaking to a friend about this dilemma and just like before the verdict was to be honest and authentic about the space I’m existing in.

For me activism and mental health go hand in hand. We are hearing about policy discussions surrounding defunding police and law proposals prosecuting those who make racial police calls. These are steps towards a long sought out justice, but it does not replace the feelings of hurt and disgust that remain for many. I do not know what to even think about 2020 anymore but maybe 2020 have given some people 20/20 vision on issues that existed for years. Regardless, I do not want to occupy this blog to reiterate what truths we already know. There is still a lot of fueled hate circulating but I want to focus on the comfort that is surfacing.

One common Facebook post that I see traveling through my news feeds is the need to block and unfriend those who choose to be silent or spewing their biases. This reminds me of October 4, 2013 when I found out that my childhood friend Blair had died. He was only 21 years old. Blair was a person who was comfortable with who he was regardless of what others thought. He stood by his beliefs and encourage those around him to do the same. His personality was unforgettable because he saw the good in situations so when the words “They found his body” was spoken I instantly broke down. After being missing for almost 12 hours the conversation was not that they found “him” but his “body”. This was the first close death I experienced, and I was miles away from home where I could relate to others that knew him. I was in my senior year of college at the time. For anyone who lived on campus you know by senior year the friends you started with are slim to none. This could not have been any truer for me. The closest friend that I had in Virginia (where I attended school) was in Germany studying abroad at the time. So, I turned to my “other friends” who were just really cool associates that I kicked it with time to time but really was never down for the cause. Yeah, those friends. I was only greeted with “I’m sorry for your loss” text with nothing more to come. I moved on to my ex-best friend from freshman year thinking that Blair’s death might encourage her to have a change of heart when I asked for her presence, but I was met with the same seldom condolences as before. I always told myself that Blair was not the only friend I loss that day. The people I thought were good friends did not show up. To be honest, I have not heard from them since. Genuine friends empathize with grief.